Louie’s Dog Blog

It was Deja and Karma that found me. They said I was barking in my sleep and making quick jabbing moves with my paws. I hope they didn’t catch me drooling into the pillow.

Now I don’t usually recall my dreams but this one was so vivid that it ended up shaking me awake. It was so weird.  I began to describe it to them immediately.  I found myself talking to a porous yellow sponge that lives in Bikini Bottom.

“What is there left to do?,” I said to my yellow friend.  “I’ve accomplished so much in so little time.  Where am I going to find adventure when I’ve done everything that I want?”

“That’s a question you’re going to have to answer for yourself, Louie,” SpongeBob answered. Other than Cesar Milan, Mr. SquarePants was the closest thing that I had to an idol.  He had achieved iconic status in my world. “I’ve always found that the best adventures happen close to home.  Look at all my shenanigans with Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward.”

“Why is your voice so mature?,” I inquired.

“It’s your dream,” he responded. He smiled with his two teeth jutting forward.

“Oh right.”

“Go home,” SpongeBob said. “You were elected dog catcher and now you’re neglecting your duties.  There’s something that needs to be done and until you do it, you’ll always be restless. It’ll nag you like a dog pulling on your pant leg.”

We bent over laughing at the reference.  Even in the most serious discussions, my sub consciousness can’t help but to lighten the mood.

“SpongeBob, thanks for always being there for me,” I said wistfully.  “I’ve always guided myself by remembering W.W.S.B.D. – What Would SpongeBob Do. I’m concerned that because I’m just an Italian Greyhound that I won’t be up for the job.”

“Hey that’s what I’m there for,” the sponge responded. “It sounds like you got the fervor and now you’ve got the religion.  Remember, it’s not the size of the dog, it’s the size of their heart.  Now I’m going to go and catch some jellyfish.”

“So that’s how it went,” I said looking into Deja and Karma’s eyes.  Their bewildered look made me feel a bit uneasy.

“What do you think it means?,” Karma said.

“It means we’re going home,” Deja sighed.  “I just found the coolest place for gelato too.  What a bummer. I really like Italy too.  Ciao!”

“Get the others and tell them to pack up,” I said hurriedly.  “Grab the gelato to go.  I need to make two calls: one to First Dog Bo to tell him I’m going back to Arizona.  I’ll return to Italy when the need for a canine ambassador arises.  The second is to Sheriff Joe Arpiao.  I’m lucky to be on the country’s toughest sheriff’s team. Tell him I’m reporting for duty.”